Imagine…

Here is a story about wellbeing. Enjoy.

Once upon a time We normalised women leaders breaking down. We normalised crying in bathrooms, alone. We normalised waking up in cold sweats, with palpitations. We normalised not sleeping, and had anxiety dreams about birthday parties. We normalised crappy eating habits, if We ate at all. We normalised splitting ourselves in half for work or for our communities and pretending that our children didn’t exist. That We had no elderly parents to care for, or health worries of our own to navigate. We normalised pretending that everything was ok because who else was going to do the shopping. We normalised competing with each other in trying to make the world a better place, because We were told there wasn’t enough to go around. We normalised the phrase imposter syndrome because sexism felt too bitter to say out loud to our bosses, our colleagues, and even to ourselves. It was easier to say that it was about us. What We normalised, became hard. It grew into rocks that We carried around with us, jagged in our hands and weighing down our pockets. 

People around us saw the rocks, but they ignored them. Instead, they pretended they didn’t exist. And so, every day, We too walked around these rocks. We told ourselves if we worked just a bit harder, if we became more diligent, did more, asked less, the rocks would go. We kept telling ourselves it was just us, our problem, We’d be ok, even though every so often We’d glimpse another woman holding the same rocks. But We told ourselves that things would be ok, if We could only carry them a bit longer.  

And every so often,things were ok.

But then.. The rocks came back. Of course.

 This time, We felt resentful to the people we loved for not carrying these rocks with us, We felt angry that our colleagues ignored the rocks that were becoming boulders. We flinched quietly as they dug into our backs, breaking them into tiny pieces. The fragments landed in our skulls, and We were told to do more yoga, breathe deeper, eat less sugar/meat/vegetables/carbs. Get small. That it was, inevitably, us. (Again). So We held on tight to these boulders and their splintered parts, now sharp in our minds, and We looked for somewhere to bury them. But We kept going, carrying them further, and  holding it all together because we couldn’t break, couldn’t rest, not really. Someone had to do the shopping after all. 

Until one day.

We realised that we weren’t the only ones carrying sharp edges, that it was also the experience of women all over the world.   So we looked at these boulders, and we looked at each other, and we found somewhere to put them down, together. It was hard to let go of them, we’d carried them for so long that splinters were embedded in to our palms, the pain becoming part of our day to day lives. But. We stopped. We paused. We looked at each other's bruised backs and bloody palms and We said, I deserve to look after myself, and put my needs… somewhere close to first. We said, my work, my mind, my body has value, and so does hers. And hers. And hers. And We deserve better.  We said pebbles exist, sure, rocks, yes, sometimes, but boulders? No.

We laid down our boulders and We built bridges together. We walked over these bridges, listening to each other, learning new tools and new ways to shrink these boulders into pebbles, if we could. We walked together from Scotland to India, India to Kashmir, Kashmir  to Kenya, Kenya to Scotland.  And We felt better. We felt like we did matter, that We were heard, that We were listened to, that We were understood, that We could manage hard times differently, and that We had each other. We made collages together of our visions for wellbeing. We sat and figured out what We could actually control, We thought about reconnecting with old friends,and asking for help, We reflected on our strengths and how We got us to where We are now. We looked out of our windows and took deep breaths. We danced together- and laughed. A lot. The tips and tools helped, but it was the solidarity between us that provided the real magic. 

The boulders are now pebbles in our pockets, small marbles that remind us of all our many roles, but we carry them with us with more ease.  We learnt that We are not alone. And it felt good. 

The End. 

Myself and my good friend Mansi, Peace Educator and Director and founder of The Peace Collective in India, have been running wellbeing programmes for women and change makers of all genders for over 5 years. We don’t promise that participants will never cry alone in a bathroom again (you, will, life is like that sometimes), but our programmes will build relationships, they will provide you with sustainable tools and they will provide participants with a space to prioritise mind, body and soul. Our workshops help foster better wellbeing, build more self compassion and embed more kindness.

We’ve worked with over 500 people all over the world who tell us that these sessions work. We want to normalise women taking care of themselves, not because we want to sell you this programme, but because we are deeply committed to challenging the sexist norms that tell you that your needs are second, third or fourth. We know that women can change the world, whether in our families, our communities, in our politics or in culture, but to do that you need rest, you need imagination, and you need care. You need a space to land. Our programmes do just that. 

Want to find out more about our wellbeing offers? Check out this page now